i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
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