I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
