It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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