i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
