I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize