She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize