god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
COCAINE IS GR8
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
