I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize