fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
