And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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