Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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