im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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