He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
