What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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