I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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