maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
