i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The best revenge is premature balding
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
