I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
