It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize