i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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