How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
