So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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