if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
