I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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