Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
