He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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