all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
