in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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