And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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