A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
