I CAN MOONWALK!
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
