The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
