Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
