remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
