She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
