I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
