Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize