Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She bit a glass in half.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
