Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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