Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
