Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize