brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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