yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
