thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
