he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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