Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You pole danced in your parka.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
you made out with another girl for some wings
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
