Moan for me like Helen Keller
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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