im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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