Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
