I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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