Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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