Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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