Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
