i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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