i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
