A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
false alarm, still single
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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