"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
