The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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