I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
