I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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