went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
