that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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